From an academic standpoint, college students are an absolute pleasure to be around. Their inquisitive minds stir the thoughts of those of us who have passed that remarkable period in our lives. I had the distinct pleasure of speaking to five classes of students about crossdressing in October 2007 and six classes the previous year. Dr. David Knox and his wife, Dd Schacht, of the Sociology Department at East Carolina University in Greenville, NC, invited me to address their students two years in a row. Three of the classes were Introduction to Sociology courses taught by Lecturer Schacht. One class was on Courtship and Marriage and the other on Human Sexuality, both taught by Professor Knox. The total number of students for the two years was over 500.
Seeing Friends Again. The four-hour drive from Myrtle Beach to the university on a Sunday afternoon was pleasant enough. Much of the trip was over rural highways that afforded an opportunity to appreciate the North Carolina countryside. My arrival at the Schacht-Knox home was a most pleasant experience. I was shown to an upstairs bedroom with an adjoining bathroom where I would find rest for the next two nights. Dinner was on the table almost as soon as I arrived. What a delight it was. Dd prepared such outstanding meals. She and David are health conscious and eat foods that are healthful. Well, mostly. Dessert was ice cream!
The free flowing, unconstrained conversation around the table gave us a chance to catch up on each other since last year. Many of the questions about me were related to my crossdressing. The first thing David wanted to know was if I was still married. I am pleased to say that I am, fortunately to the same woman.
I asked about family and found that their daughter is back in college full time this fall. That turned out to be one of the happiest events of the year for the entire family. Our discussion of national and international events, books recently read, movies recently seen and other general topics of interest was both educational and delightful.
Talking With The Students. On Monday morning, I spoke to three classes of Sociology students back to back for about 50 minutes each. The first class began at 9 A.M. with about 30 students. I spoke for between 25 and 30 minutes and then took questions for the remainder of the class time. I told them about my first memory of dressing in female clothes at age 5 and progressed through my teen years to marriage at the tender age of 18. Much of my talk was about my relationship with my wife, her acceptance and sometimes total lack of acceptance of me as a crossdresser. I told them that only my wife and best friend know my true identity as a transgendered person. I noted that when I spoke of suicide a few years ago, my best friend was insistent that I see a therapist. After carefully seeking professional help, I finally found a therapist that has experience in counseling patients with gender issues. His office is about 100 miles away from my home. That therapist told me in the one-hour session I had with him that I was transgendered and that I was more female than male. Wow!
I reported to the students that I retired from the Central Intelligence Agency where I had several interesting jobs. I noted that I am the President of the Citizens Association in the community where I live; the President of Sigma Mu Beta, the local Tri-Ess chapter; and a board member of a charitable organization focused on helping women get out of the sex industry in the Myrtle Beach area. I also noted that I am an active member of the church to which my wife and I belong. Telling of these events was intended to let the students know that crossdressers are interwoven into every part of American society.
As a crossdresser, I told them about being out in public dressed while shopping, eating at restaurants, going to movie theaters, and remaining dressed 24/7 for four or more days while on vacations with my wife. I highlighted some of the events that happened while I was out and about. One such event concerned being stopped by a policeman while on an early morning walk in my neighborhood. The officer who pulled up next to me at 5 A.M., rolled down the window of his police car and said, “Ma’am.” I was scared out of my wits when I saw a policeman, and I started walking briskly away from the patrol car. The policeman turned the car around in what seemed only a split second to block my way. I was afraid to speak to the officer in my female voice so I responded to his questions in full male voice. As he faced me, he was confused seeing a person dressed as a woman but speaking like a man. He alternated between calling me “Ma’am” and “Sir.” Since I am well know in my community, I declined to answer his questions about who I was and where I lived. I kept telling him that I had done nothing wrong. Mercifully, he got a call on his car radio that prompted him to ask me if he let me go would I go home. I said, “Absolutely. You bet.” Later, I learned that the policeman stopped me because he thought I was a prostitute who was streetwalking/cruising to find a client.
Another event I related to the students was about an older man using my head for support while attempting to get out of his seat in a darkened movie theater. It was truly remarkable that my hair stayed in place. (See the article, Theater Event, posted on October 5, 2007 for more details on this scary occurrence.)
Yet another happening that seemed to enthrall the students was about a patrolman who stopped me while I was dressed on my way to a restaurant after a Tri-Ess chapter meeting. I was cited for driving with an expired license tag. The officer who wrote the citation radioed a fellow officer to come to see what he had found. At least that is what I thought happened when a second officer arrived and came to the window of my vehicle to talk with me. Clearly, more than curiosity was at play here. After all, the arresting officer had the driver’s license of a male and there before his very eyes was a female sitting behind the steering wheel, or rather, quite clearly by now, a male dressed in women’s clothes sitting behind the steering wheel. It was time to gawk. When I was permitted to leave the scene, I thought it only appropriate to deal with the entire issue dressed. So I went to the office of the clerk of court dressed as a woman when I had the renewed license tags in hand a few days later. The female clerk referred to me as “Honey” several times during our conversation. Thankfully, the citation was dismissed because the tags were less than 30 days out of date.
Each of the four succeeding classes heard much the same talk. To help me stay on track, I glanced at my notes. The question and answer periods varied from class to class.
Students’ Questions. I thought the questions posed by the students were insightful. Samples of questions follow: “Do you ever forget the role you are in and use the mannerisms and body language of the opposite sex when you in male or female mode?” “You have nicely arched eyebrows. Are you questioned about your feminine eye brows when you present as a male?” “What do you do when you are asked for identification while dressed in female clothing?” “Who knows about your transgenderism?” “What are the benefits to your spouse being married to a transgendered person?” “I’d like to hear how you sound as a man. Would you say a few words in your male voice?” “Which bathroom do you use when you are dressed as a woman?”
Emails from Students. A few days after I spoke to students in the fall of 2006, Dr. Knox forwarded an email to me from one of his female students. Here are her comments: “I was just wondering if our speaker last Tuesday night has an email address. I know that's kind of a risky question, but I just really wanted to let her know that I appreciate her speaking and I was so glad to learn about new things and that people are different and live differently and that’s okay. For some reason I was just really inspired and I feel compelled to let her know to thank her.” This response was indeed gratifying. In our ensuing exchange of emails, I came to believe that this student would likely remember my talk for years to come. Hopefully, her positiveness will in some way benefit other crossdressers with whom she comes into contact later in life.
Here is another email from a student in one of Dd Schacht’s classes: “Hi! I hope this email finds you doing well and back at home safely. I was in Caroline Schacht's class (I am aware you spoke to 6) and just wanted to tell you thanks again for coming to speak with us. Truth be told, I went into that discussion (once I realized who you were) scared to death. All my life I have been PETRIFIED of both trannys and CD's... I now see there is nothing to be scared of...and I reckon' there's nothing wrong with broadening my horizons. Also, I asked you several questions in class and then approached you afterwards and asked you about your ‘birth-given’ name...and I just wanted to apologize if that offended you...I didn't know. Anyways...Thanks again. I learned a lot from you and your presentation.... Ashley.” Apparently, my talk changed this student’s mind about crossdressers. It all adds up to the fact that our effort to educate is worth the commitment it takes, not just for those who hear from us, but for ourselves as well.
Blending In or Not. In the last class of the day, Dr. Knox had me enter the classroom from the rear door, which put me behind the students. He asked the students to take one look at me and then asked them to write on a sheet of paper whether the person they saw is male or female. Of the about 40 students in the classroom, nine identified me as a female. Two others told me afterward that had they seem me elsewhere they would have thought me to be female. Other students may have felt the same way. Well, I’ll accept that about 25 percent of the people who are asked about my sex/gender when I am dressed believe me to be a woman. Truthfully, I’d be happier if that percentage were larger.
Further Conversation With Friends. Dr. Knox and Dd Schacht both told me independently when I asked for their opinion that I pass well in femme clothing. They said that my makeup is applied appropriately to give a feminine appearance, and that my femme voice is fine. Unfortunately for me, my face is a bit of a give away. My chin is a little too prominent. Transsexuals would have that problem fixed through facial feminization. Dr. Knox noted that such a move by me would likely cause my wife to flip out. I agree. Since my CDing is not just about me, I will leave the main parts of my body intact and change only surface features through padding, makeup, hair adornment and hair removal. For sure those things do not make me a woman, but they do give me satisfaction in presenting as one, even if only 25 percent of the people who see me actually think I am female. While out and about, I think the percentage of people who see me as female is closer to 95 percent. It amazes me that sometimes while I am in male mode, I am still called “Ma’am.” There must be something that says to waitresses and clerks, “Female Inside.”
One of the more gratifying moments for me occurred not long before I left the home of my hosts the morning after speaking to their students. Dd told me that she was running around in the living room and kitchen area with her bra showing. She said that she thought to herself, “What if Annette comes walking in here with me dressed like this?” Then she said she thought, “Oh. That would not be a problem because Annette is a woman.” Wow!! To put her comment into perspective, I came to their home dressed as Annette and remained dressed the entire time I was with them. David and Dd have only known me as Annette. For that reason, I believe it is quite natural for Dd to think of me as a woman. It was not so for David, however. He often referred to me using male pronouns during my visit. That works too. As a crossdresser, I am both male and female.
Results. All of this began through an invitation to speak to college students about crossdressing. While I believe such an endeavor is a worthy goal, much more has come about as a result of accepting that invitation as can be seen through the content of this article. I am a blessed person.
