Nice Words to Hear
As my wife and I prepared to travel from Hendersonville, NC to North Myrtle Beach, SC, my wife gave me grace--an expanding freedom to be myself in her presence.
After we got home from church, lunch, and clothes shopping (I looked and looked, but found nothing that I thought might flatter me), we changed out of Sunday best into casual clothes. As we were changing, I off-handedly commented, “I guess I must put on male clothes.” My wife retorted, “It is up to you, but, if you dress, I want you to stay in a different room from where I am.” That hurt a bit, but I still saw her comment as an acquiescence. Even though she gave the OK for me to dress, I still put on male shorts and a T-shirt.
In order for us to get ready for our trip the next morning, we had to pack, vacuum, clean the bathrooms, mop the kitchen and bathroom floors, and take care of other similar chores. The idea we developed over our years together is that we leave the house clean and tidy and will enjoy our return all that much more. On this occasion, we both wanted a little time to collect ourselves before starting the household tasks. I caught up on a few e-mails, but made no attempt to dress en femme.
After an hour or so, my wife started on the chores. I soon followed by cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming the carpets, and cleaning the bathrooms. She mopped the kitchen and bathroom floors and started packing. As soon as I finished the vacuuming, I donned femme clothes--maroon Capri’s, a white ribbed, short-sleeve top, white high heel shoes, affixed my pretty blond hair, and femme jewelry.
As soon as my wife saw me, she said, “So you got dressed.“ I declared, “Well, you said it was OK.“ Then she wanted to know why I cannot control myself. I did not give her an answer right away, so she prompted me with, “No response, huh?” I then told her that I dress en femme because it is part of who I am. Her snappy response was, “That isn’t true,” but she quickly came back with, “Well, you still should control yourself.” In reality, we have had several conversations about me having duality of gender. She knows and agrees that I have a femme side that needs attention.
A little later, she looked over at me from an adjoining room and pleasantly inquired, “Are you happy?” I meekly answered in my femme voice, “Yes.” She smiled and responded in words that were nice to hear, “It doesn't take much to make you happy. Does it?” I agreed. Throughout the remainder of the evening, I stayed dressed. We had several pleasant exchanges on our trip and other topics. The “stay in another room” dictum was overlooked.
Perhaps this conversation does not seem like much, but I regard it as a significant stride for my wife to have looked deeply enough into my being to see my need to get dressed en femme at home for an extended period of time. Usually, she finds something to do while I get dressed en femme to go to a support group meeting or to go on an outing like shopping.
Love,
Annette
After we got home from church, lunch, and clothes shopping (I looked and looked, but found nothing that I thought might flatter me), we changed out of Sunday best into casual clothes. As we were changing, I off-handedly commented, “I guess I must put on male clothes.” My wife retorted, “It is up to you, but, if you dress, I want you to stay in a different room from where I am.” That hurt a bit, but I still saw her comment as an acquiescence. Even though she gave the OK for me to dress, I still put on male shorts and a T-shirt.
In order for us to get ready for our trip the next morning, we had to pack, vacuum, clean the bathrooms, mop the kitchen and bathroom floors, and take care of other similar chores. The idea we developed over our years together is that we leave the house clean and tidy and will enjoy our return all that much more. On this occasion, we both wanted a little time to collect ourselves before starting the household tasks. I caught up on a few e-mails, but made no attempt to dress en femme.
After an hour or so, my wife started on the chores. I soon followed by cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming the carpets, and cleaning the bathrooms. She mopped the kitchen and bathroom floors and started packing. As soon as I finished the vacuuming, I donned femme clothes--maroon Capri’s, a white ribbed, short-sleeve top, white high heel shoes, affixed my pretty blond hair, and femme jewelry.
As soon as my wife saw me, she said, “So you got dressed.“ I declared, “Well, you said it was OK.“ Then she wanted to know why I cannot control myself. I did not give her an answer right away, so she prompted me with, “No response, huh?” I then told her that I dress en femme because it is part of who I am. Her snappy response was, “That isn’t true,” but she quickly came back with, “Well, you still should control yourself.” In reality, we have had several conversations about me having duality of gender. She knows and agrees that I have a femme side that needs attention.
A little later, she looked over at me from an adjoining room and pleasantly inquired, “Are you happy?” I meekly answered in my femme voice, “Yes.” She smiled and responded in words that were nice to hear, “It doesn't take much to make you happy. Does it?” I agreed. Throughout the remainder of the evening, I stayed dressed. We had several pleasant exchanges on our trip and other topics. The “stay in another room” dictum was overlooked.
Perhaps this conversation does not seem like much, but I regard it as a significant stride for my wife to have looked deeply enough into my being to see my need to get dressed en femme at home for an extended period of time. Usually, she finds something to do while I get dressed en femme to go to a support group meeting or to go on an outing like shopping.
Love,
Annette
posted by Annette @ 7/13/2008 10:16:00 PM
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