Caught by a Neighbor
Being Caught by a Neighbor
Yesterday and today I took morning walks of about four miles while dressed and accompanied by my wife. We drove from our home to two nearby adjoining parks. The trails we walk are along a stream in a heavily forested area. It is enjoyable to be shaded and hear the birds sing as we walk along. That part of both days was very pleasant.
Another event of the past two days was my finishing travel plans for my wife and me to visit Yellowstone National Park, the Grand Tetons, Mount Rushmore, Crazy Horse Memorial, and other sights in the Utah, Wyoming and South Dakota area. The trip starts on August 26th in Rapid City, SD and ends on September 3rd in Salt Lake City, UT. We are flying on Northwest Airlines for all segments of the trip. Unpleasantly, we got the news that the airline is following suit with other airlines by charging $15 for the first piece of luggage for each passenger. I guess that means we pay $15 each way for the both of us. The airline was a hold-out on the charge until now.
The Midwest is an area we have had on our “Travel To” list for several years. Since the price of fuel will likely raise the cost of the trip in years to come, we decided now is the time to go.
The downside to my trip planning was my wife telling me that she does not want me to be Annette for any part of the trip. I had hoped to make the entire trip as Annette, but that option is now out of the window. I will probably take one outfit, just in case I get a chance to be on my own for a few hours. It is tough to be dressed in the “expected” role for so long. I don’t know how any transgender person can make it for weeks at a time without dressing. A friend told me last night that there came a time for him when he said that he could no longer live the “expected” role.
The other crummy side of things today was the “off again” mood my wife was in. As we made our way to the park where we walked this morning, she wanted to know whether I was trying to keep her in a state of depression. Of course, I said, no. Her question related to my being dressed for the walk and also having dressed for our walk yesterday. In addition, I went out dressed last night to meet with a group of GLBT friends in the Asheville, NC area. We meet weekly in a church for wide ranging conversation and then go to a friendly bar for more talk. I did not get home until nearly midnight. My wife was already in bed--an unusual circumstance for her since she is often up until 2 A.M.
Adding to the less than pleasant environment was the fact that when we finished our walk and returned home this morning, the woman who lives next door to us was outside sweeping her carport and sidewalk. Neither my wife nor I saw her at first. The neighbor got a good look at me as I got out of the car and went into the house. After my wife parked the car, she spoke to the neighbor as she came in, but she was not pleased that I had been seen dressed by our neighbor. At first she smiled about it, but when I smiled back, she said it was not something to smile about. She then said, “We are moving.” As the day wore on, her disposition only improved slightly. As for me, I was not bothered at all by our neighbor having seen me dressed. I’ve gotten past the shame of being me. My wife, on the other hand, is uncomfortable with others knowing that she is married to a transgendered mate.
I thought about calling our neighbors, the woman who saw me and her husband, and ask if I could come to visit with them for a few minutes. I would tell them that I am a transgendered male-to-female and explain that I would hope they would not feel ill toward us and to please not inquire of my dressing to my wife because she is uncomfortable with the whole proposition. I would not let my wife know of the visit, but would undertake the effort to ward off our being ostracized by these and other neighbors. (Obviously, gossip is bound to spread as a result of my being seen dressed. The “Do you know what I saw” type gossip could get back to my wife which would only make her even more uncomfortable and desirous of moving.)
I’ve asked a friend her view on whether I should talk with my neighbors or not. Others are welcomed to comment as I ponder whether the idea has merit in trying to keep the cat somewhat in the box.
Love,
Annette
Yesterday and today I took morning walks of about four miles while dressed and accompanied by my wife. We drove from our home to two nearby adjoining parks. The trails we walk are along a stream in a heavily forested area. It is enjoyable to be shaded and hear the birds sing as we walk along. That part of both days was very pleasant.
Another event of the past two days was my finishing travel plans for my wife and me to visit Yellowstone National Park, the Grand Tetons, Mount Rushmore, Crazy Horse Memorial, and other sights in the Utah, Wyoming and South Dakota area. The trip starts on August 26th in Rapid City, SD and ends on September 3rd in Salt Lake City, UT. We are flying on Northwest Airlines for all segments of the trip. Unpleasantly, we got the news that the airline is following suit with other airlines by charging $15 for the first piece of luggage for each passenger. I guess that means we pay $15 each way for the both of us. The airline was a hold-out on the charge until now.
The Midwest is an area we have had on our “Travel To” list for several years. Since the price of fuel will likely raise the cost of the trip in years to come, we decided now is the time to go.
The downside to my trip planning was my wife telling me that she does not want me to be Annette for any part of the trip. I had hoped to make the entire trip as Annette, but that option is now out of the window. I will probably take one outfit, just in case I get a chance to be on my own for a few hours. It is tough to be dressed in the “expected” role for so long. I don’t know how any transgender person can make it for weeks at a time without dressing. A friend told me last night that there came a time for him when he said that he could no longer live the “expected” role.
The other crummy side of things today was the “off again” mood my wife was in. As we made our way to the park where we walked this morning, she wanted to know whether I was trying to keep her in a state of depression. Of course, I said, no. Her question related to my being dressed for the walk and also having dressed for our walk yesterday. In addition, I went out dressed last night to meet with a group of GLBT friends in the Asheville, NC area. We meet weekly in a church for wide ranging conversation and then go to a friendly bar for more talk. I did not get home until nearly midnight. My wife was already in bed--an unusual circumstance for her since she is often up until 2 A.M.
Adding to the less than pleasant environment was the fact that when we finished our walk and returned home this morning, the woman who lives next door to us was outside sweeping her carport and sidewalk. Neither my wife nor I saw her at first. The neighbor got a good look at me as I got out of the car and went into the house. After my wife parked the car, she spoke to the neighbor as she came in, but she was not pleased that I had been seen dressed by our neighbor. At first she smiled about it, but when I smiled back, she said it was not something to smile about. She then said, “We are moving.” As the day wore on, her disposition only improved slightly. As for me, I was not bothered at all by our neighbor having seen me dressed. I’ve gotten past the shame of being me. My wife, on the other hand, is uncomfortable with others knowing that she is married to a transgendered mate.
I thought about calling our neighbors, the woman who saw me and her husband, and ask if I could come to visit with them for a few minutes. I would tell them that I am a transgendered male-to-female and explain that I would hope they would not feel ill toward us and to please not inquire of my dressing to my wife because she is uncomfortable with the whole proposition. I would not let my wife know of the visit, but would undertake the effort to ward off our being ostracized by these and other neighbors. (Obviously, gossip is bound to spread as a result of my being seen dressed. The “Do you know what I saw” type gossip could get back to my wife which would only make her even more uncomfortable and desirous of moving.)
I’ve asked a friend her view on whether I should talk with my neighbors or not. Others are welcomed to comment as I ponder whether the idea has merit in trying to keep the cat somewhat in the box.
Love,
Annette
posted by Annette @ 7/09/2008 09:59:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home