20/20 TV Program on Transgendered Children by Barbara Walters
I found the TV progam on transgendered children by Barbara Walters that aired on June 27, 2008 to be an honest, open portrayal of the difficulties parents of transgendered children face. (The text of the program may be read at: http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=5261426&page=1) A gathering of over 400 affected families at one location in the past year clearly showed that parents who have children born transgendered are not just a few isolated occurrences.
On a personal level, a most astonishing thing happened to me as a result of the telecast. I mentioned the show beforehand to my wife, but did not expect her to watch it with me. For the most part, she studiously avoids viewing such programs.
She was in an adjoining room when the program started and did not appear to me to be listening. At one point, I turned the volume down on the TV only to be prompted to turn it back up. She soon joined me to watch the show in the living room.
Parts of the program were difficult for me to deal with emotionally. I found it extremely sad to hear about the bullying that goes on in the lives of many transgendered children. A few of the scenes even bought tears to my eyes. My wife saw my emotion and asked specific questions about my crossdressing when I was an adolescent.
Prior to the show, my wife had told me more than once that she thought my dressing is learned behavior and had nothing to do with the way God made me. I, of course, had told her why I believed otherwise. After listening to the words of children as young as three years of age tell their parents that they are not the gender their parents thought them to be, brought new understanding to my wife. I think it became more clear to her that these children did not learn the behavior they are exhibiting. The children were representing themselves as they really are. The fact that some of the parents in the program had tried mightily to teach their child, on doctor’s advise, how to live within the gender they thought their child possessed at birth, was revealing. As the show depicted, all of those efforts failed.
I believe the certainty the children showed about themselves, in spite of parental guidance to the contrary, is much like my own effort to do away with my crossdressing through purges, prayer, shear willpower, or any other means. All of my efforts failed. Had I known the reality of who I am as a child and not pushed that part of me into a closet, I would never have attempted to expunge the femme part of me.
Although I had explained my inability to stop crossdressing to my wife, she came to have a better understanding of the reasons for my supposed shortcoming through the 20/20 program. Accepting myself for who I am was difficult. It took far too many years for me to even begin to address the realities of who I am. I now know for certain that I have a duality of gender. I did not choose this “birth defect,” as the show declared some transgendered children to be. The femme part of who I am was there at the start. It will always be there--whether society or my loved ones and friends accept that part of me or not.
Perhaps one day I will have the courage to tell others about the real me. My life is greatly enhanced by my wife knowing the real me and by my friends in the transgender community accepting Annette. In the meantime, I am ecstatic that new understanding came to the person I most care about in life--my wife. After we went to bed following the show, she held my hand until sleep overtook her. I felt it was a gesture of a newly found understanding of her husband--a crossdresser.
Love,
Annette
On a personal level, a most astonishing thing happened to me as a result of the telecast. I mentioned the show beforehand to my wife, but did not expect her to watch it with me. For the most part, she studiously avoids viewing such programs.
She was in an adjoining room when the program started and did not appear to me to be listening. At one point, I turned the volume down on the TV only to be prompted to turn it back up. She soon joined me to watch the show in the living room.
Parts of the program were difficult for me to deal with emotionally. I found it extremely sad to hear about the bullying that goes on in the lives of many transgendered children. A few of the scenes even bought tears to my eyes. My wife saw my emotion and asked specific questions about my crossdressing when I was an adolescent.
Prior to the show, my wife had told me more than once that she thought my dressing is learned behavior and had nothing to do with the way God made me. I, of course, had told her why I believed otherwise. After listening to the words of children as young as three years of age tell their parents that they are not the gender their parents thought them to be, brought new understanding to my wife. I think it became more clear to her that these children did not learn the behavior they are exhibiting. The children were representing themselves as they really are. The fact that some of the parents in the program had tried mightily to teach their child, on doctor’s advise, how to live within the gender they thought their child possessed at birth, was revealing. As the show depicted, all of those efforts failed.
I believe the certainty the children showed about themselves, in spite of parental guidance to the contrary, is much like my own effort to do away with my crossdressing through purges, prayer, shear willpower, or any other means. All of my efforts failed. Had I known the reality of who I am as a child and not pushed that part of me into a closet, I would never have attempted to expunge the femme part of me.
Although I had explained my inability to stop crossdressing to my wife, she came to have a better understanding of the reasons for my supposed shortcoming through the 20/20 program. Accepting myself for who I am was difficult. It took far too many years for me to even begin to address the realities of who I am. I now know for certain that I have a duality of gender. I did not choose this “birth defect,” as the show declared some transgendered children to be. The femme part of who I am was there at the start. It will always be there--whether society or my loved ones and friends accept that part of me or not.
Perhaps one day I will have the courage to tell others about the real me. My life is greatly enhanced by my wife knowing the real me and by my friends in the transgender community accepting Annette. In the meantime, I am ecstatic that new understanding came to the person I most care about in life--my wife. After we went to bed following the show, she held my hand until sleep overtook her. I felt it was a gesture of a newly found understanding of her husband--a crossdresser.
Love,
Annette
posted by Annette @ 7/05/2008 04:31:00 PM
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