Theater Event
It is time for a little catch up. Since I last wrote, many things have happened to me. One of the scariest, but yet a funny occurrence took place while I was on an outing to a movie theater in Hendersonville, NC a few weeks ago. I went by myself to see The Making of Jane, the story of Jane Austin’s life as a famous writer. If you like romantic, reality movies, this is one to see. Because the world in which Austin lived was extremely sexist, Austin was looked down upon as a writer by most of her contemporaries. In spite of the prejudices of her time, Austin was still able in her short lifetime to write four of the most profound, lasting novels ever written.
As the show was ending, I kept my seat to view the credits in the still darkened theater. Without warning, I felt a hand directly on the top of my head. What flashed through my mind was the thought that I was about to have my hair yanked off of my head. Now folks you know what that would mean for a transgendered male-to-female crossdresser. I would have been embarrassed beyond comprehension, and the possibility of being outed by someone who knows me was truly scary.
I quickly grabbed the wrist of the person who had a hand on the top of my head. When I recognized that this was the hand of a man. I said, “Sir, what are you doing?” There was no response. I gripped the man’s wrist as tightly as I could and repeated my question a bit louder. Others in the theater were now turning to see what was going on. This time the man said in exasperation, “It is dark in here and I couldn’t see.” The sound of his weakened voice told me that the hand belonged to an older man.
Miraculously when he took his hand off of my head, my hair stayed in place. As I released my grip on his wrist, I realized the man had used my head for support to help him get out of his seat. I thought, “Gee, perhaps this person should wait until the theater lights came up before getting out of his seat.”
In retrospect, the incident was a bit comical. Here was someone groping for anything he could find to help him get out of a theater seat. Unwittingly he pulled himself to his feet by grabbing the head of a nearby transgendered moviegoer. The man was apparently disoriented and lost in the darkness of the theater. By contrast, the one who aided him to his feet was quite comfortable in that very same darkness. Darkness and closets had served for many years as a means to keep the identity secret of the person under the hair.
I believe my presence in a public places dressed as a female continues to show that I accept myself for the person I am. Caring about being outed also shows fear of what others would think should my identity as a transgendered person become known. Perhaps the latter possibility should not bother me, but it does.
This was one of those moments that made me ask myself, “What on earth am I doing dressed as a female in a public place like a movie theater?” As I contemplated the event, I came to see myself as one trying to work through personal identity issues by meeting life head on. Thankfully, the man in the theater will never know the depth of support needed by the person whose head his hand grasped for support.
As the show was ending, I kept my seat to view the credits in the still darkened theater. Without warning, I felt a hand directly on the top of my head. What flashed through my mind was the thought that I was about to have my hair yanked off of my head. Now folks you know what that would mean for a transgendered male-to-female crossdresser. I would have been embarrassed beyond comprehension, and the possibility of being outed by someone who knows me was truly scary.
I quickly grabbed the wrist of the person who had a hand on the top of my head. When I recognized that this was the hand of a man. I said, “Sir, what are you doing?” There was no response. I gripped the man’s wrist as tightly as I could and repeated my question a bit louder. Others in the theater were now turning to see what was going on. This time the man said in exasperation, “It is dark in here and I couldn’t see.” The sound of his weakened voice told me that the hand belonged to an older man.
Miraculously when he took his hand off of my head, my hair stayed in place. As I released my grip on his wrist, I realized the man had used my head for support to help him get out of his seat. I thought, “Gee, perhaps this person should wait until the theater lights came up before getting out of his seat.”
In retrospect, the incident was a bit comical. Here was someone groping for anything he could find to help him get out of a theater seat. Unwittingly he pulled himself to his feet by grabbing the head of a nearby transgendered moviegoer. The man was apparently disoriented and lost in the darkness of the theater. By contrast, the one who aided him to his feet was quite comfortable in that very same darkness. Darkness and closets had served for many years as a means to keep the identity secret of the person under the hair.
I believe my presence in a public places dressed as a female continues to show that I accept myself for the person I am. Caring about being outed also shows fear of what others would think should my identity as a transgendered person become known. Perhaps the latter possibility should not bother me, but it does.
This was one of those moments that made me ask myself, “What on earth am I doing dressed as a female in a public place like a movie theater?” As I contemplated the event, I came to see myself as one trying to work through personal identity issues by meeting life head on. Thankfully, the man in the theater will never know the depth of support needed by the person whose head his hand grasped for support.
posted by Annette @ 10/25/2007 07:52:00 AM
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