Dear Friends,
Today was quite a day in the life of this crossdresser. On the positive side, I played golf with three newly found friends in Hendersonville, NC, a nice mountain city in Western North Carolina where my wife and I are spending much of the summer months.
One of the trying aspects of the golf match was the fact that I had not played the game for a several months. My score certainly showed it. I, nonetheless, enjoyed getting out in the fresh air and just being in the game.
One of the interesting things about playing golf with three men that I had just met was their total acceptance of me. A mutual friend at the church my wife and I attend arranged for me to be part of the outing. I dressed as a male, but wore shorts, and a short-sleeved shirt. Believe me, it is far too warm to wear long pants this time of the year, even in the mountains. My clean-shaven legs, hands and arms drew nary a word. The clear finger nail polish I was wearing got a few looks, but no comments. Most of the looks came after the round of golf while we sat at a local restaurant called the Hot Dog World. The man sitting across from me examined my hands closely, while he raised several non-controversial topics.
One of the highlights of the outing was a presentation made at the luncheon. To understand the significance of the presentation, I need to step back a little. During the golf match, I was not playing well through the first 9 holes. At that point, I dug a Ladies Pink Golf Ball out of my golf bag and began to use it in place of the white Titlest ball I normally use. There was an immediate improvement in my game! My drives were longer and straighter. I also made more accurate chips and puts. The psychological impact was a definite lift. Maybe it was my femme side taking a more positive attitude.
When the other members of the foursome first saw me using a pink ball, they made a few teasing comments about my choice of pink golf ball. In response to one of those comments, I noted, “I am the only lady in this group.” That comment drew grins, but no retort.
Unfortunately, alas, the pink golf ball finally failed me. I lost it in a hazard just off the 17th fairway. As I looked a little extra for the lost ball, I heard a member of the foursome comment to another that I really did not want to lose that ball.
Now back to the restaurant and the presentation. The presenter made a big deal of how pleasurable it was to meet me and how much he had enjoyed the round of golf. The others went along with all the flowery talk. Then low and behold I was given a pink golf ball that was hidden in his hand the whole time he made his speech. This, of course, brought much laughter. I graciously received the replacement ball for the one I lost. All of this brought a smile to my face and warmed my heart. While these men may have had some small inkling that I am transgendered, I am sure they will need to look much further to find that Annette also holds a place in the body I carry around.
The tablemate in front of me, the one who examined my fingernails closely, commented that he had once worn a pink shirt to his office. He said one of his supervisors teased him about it until he responded that only those men who are sure of their masculinity can wear a pink shirt and think nothing of it. Well, I suppose that is one approach. As for me, I wear pink for an entirely different reason. I simply love wearing pink. I have two very pretty pink outfits. One is a top and shorts. The other is a sweater and pants combination. I don’t yet have a pink skirt, but I do enjoy wearing a pink bra. My, oh my, how I love it under a pink top or under a pink sweater.
Now to some of the less favorable emotion I felt while on the golf course. In the early part of the golf match, my daughter who recently discovered that her husband is cheating on her called me twice for advice. A private investigator that I hired on her behalf photographed and videotaped her husband with another woman in adulterous acts. My daughter sees this marriage as over, and wants to find as easy a way as possible to end it. Since she is the breadwinner for the family, she wants to avoid alimony payments to her husband. Based on her lawyers input, proven adultery on her husband’s part should be sufficient to keep alimony payments from entering into the equation.
Also of consideration in the alimony question is earning power. Although my daughter’s husband earned less than $10,000 in the past 10 years, he is a fully capable wage earner. Before taking himself out of the workforce, he earned more than $100,000 per year as the president of a mortgage finance company. He is bright guy who is a CPA and the holder of an MBA degree. Those strong credentials along with the fact that he has no physical or mental handicaps point to his having solid earnings potential. It is really sad to see him squander his life and negatively affecting some many other lives in the process.
Herein lies the real trauma for me, a transgendered father. I think I feel my daughter’s anguish just as much as she feels it. Had something like this happened when my femme side was closeted and therefore suppressed, I think I would have been stoic. I would have had a matter-of-fact attitude about the whole issue. Now, I worry right along with her. I experience the same emotions she does. I cry with her. It hurts to see her go through the loss of someone she has loved, someone who is the father of her two children. It is painful. This is pain brought on through infidelity, pure and simple. It is pain that is now pulsing through the entire immediate family. It is pain that is certain to touch generations to come. It is sad. This hurt will probably never go away. Actions make a difference. Immense emotional injury comes from broken trust. Life is not just about self. It is about others, too.
Today was quite a day in the life of this crossdresser. On the positive side, I played golf with three newly found friends in Hendersonville, NC, a nice mountain city in Western North Carolina where my wife and I are spending much of the summer months.
One of the trying aspects of the golf match was the fact that I had not played the game for a several months. My score certainly showed it. I, nonetheless, enjoyed getting out in the fresh air and just being in the game.
One of the interesting things about playing golf with three men that I had just met was their total acceptance of me. A mutual friend at the church my wife and I attend arranged for me to be part of the outing. I dressed as a male, but wore shorts, and a short-sleeved shirt. Believe me, it is far too warm to wear long pants this time of the year, even in the mountains. My clean-shaven legs, hands and arms drew nary a word. The clear finger nail polish I was wearing got a few looks, but no comments. Most of the looks came after the round of golf while we sat at a local restaurant called the Hot Dog World. The man sitting across from me examined my hands closely, while he raised several non-controversial topics.
One of the highlights of the outing was a presentation made at the luncheon. To understand the significance of the presentation, I need to step back a little. During the golf match, I was not playing well through the first 9 holes. At that point, I dug a Ladies Pink Golf Ball out of my golf bag and began to use it in place of the white Titlest ball I normally use. There was an immediate improvement in my game! My drives were longer and straighter. I also made more accurate chips and puts. The psychological impact was a definite lift. Maybe it was my femme side taking a more positive attitude.
When the other members of the foursome first saw me using a pink ball, they made a few teasing comments about my choice of pink golf ball. In response to one of those comments, I noted, “I am the only lady in this group.” That comment drew grins, but no retort.
Unfortunately, alas, the pink golf ball finally failed me. I lost it in a hazard just off the 17th fairway. As I looked a little extra for the lost ball, I heard a member of the foursome comment to another that I really did not want to lose that ball.
Now back to the restaurant and the presentation. The presenter made a big deal of how pleasurable it was to meet me and how much he had enjoyed the round of golf. The others went along with all the flowery talk. Then low and behold I was given a pink golf ball that was hidden in his hand the whole time he made his speech. This, of course, brought much laughter. I graciously received the replacement ball for the one I lost. All of this brought a smile to my face and warmed my heart. While these men may have had some small inkling that I am transgendered, I am sure they will need to look much further to find that Annette also holds a place in the body I carry around.
The tablemate in front of me, the one who examined my fingernails closely, commented that he had once worn a pink shirt to his office. He said one of his supervisors teased him about it until he responded that only those men who are sure of their masculinity can wear a pink shirt and think nothing of it. Well, I suppose that is one approach. As for me, I wear pink for an entirely different reason. I simply love wearing pink. I have two very pretty pink outfits. One is a top and shorts. The other is a sweater and pants combination. I don’t yet have a pink skirt, but I do enjoy wearing a pink bra. My, oh my, how I love it under a pink top or under a pink sweater.
Now to some of the less favorable emotion I felt while on the golf course. In the early part of the golf match, my daughter who recently discovered that her husband is cheating on her called me twice for advice. A private investigator that I hired on her behalf photographed and videotaped her husband with another woman in adulterous acts. My daughter sees this marriage as over, and wants to find as easy a way as possible to end it. Since she is the breadwinner for the family, she wants to avoid alimony payments to her husband. Based on her lawyers input, proven adultery on her husband’s part should be sufficient to keep alimony payments from entering into the equation.
Also of consideration in the alimony question is earning power. Although my daughter’s husband earned less than $10,000 in the past 10 years, he is a fully capable wage earner. Before taking himself out of the workforce, he earned more than $100,000 per year as the president of a mortgage finance company. He is bright guy who is a CPA and the holder of an MBA degree. Those strong credentials along with the fact that he has no physical or mental handicaps point to his having solid earnings potential. It is really sad to see him squander his life and negatively affecting some many other lives in the process.
Herein lies the real trauma for me, a transgendered father. I think I feel my daughter’s anguish just as much as she feels it. Had something like this happened when my femme side was closeted and therefore suppressed, I think I would have been stoic. I would have had a matter-of-fact attitude about the whole issue. Now, I worry right along with her. I experience the same emotions she does. I cry with her. It hurts to see her go through the loss of someone she has loved, someone who is the father of her two children. It is painful. This is pain brought on through infidelity, pure and simple. It is pain that is now pulsing through the entire immediate family. It is pain that is certain to touch generations to come. It is sad. This hurt will probably never go away. Actions make a difference. Immense emotional injury comes from broken trust. Life is not just about self. It is about others, too.
1 Comments:
At 10:26 PM, Kimberly said…
It sounds like you had a great time at the golf course. and sorry to her about your daughter
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